BOOBS. And also maternity swimwear rant.

SIXTEEN WEEKS. That's how far along my boobs are.

Kristin, that's so inappropriate.


Well I'm truckin along at 16 weeks, and I guess maybe I'm getting a bump? It fluctuates every day, so who can tell what's really going on, but I bought these stickers to stick on my "bump" so I had to use this one obviously.

 At some point this pose will make more sense... I just wanted to get the practice in.

Since we are on the topic of maternity swimwear...we weren't really, but now we are. I'm going on two vacations this summer that involve swimming, and so I thought, I need a maternity swimwear to hold my obviously large  nonexistent baby bump. I'm searching all over the web, and there's boutiques that literally have 8 "maternity" swim suits, however 4 of those are bikinis. HOW CAN A BIKINI BE MATERNITY!?  The other one pieces of maternity swim wear are low plunging or with a SHELF BRA. SHELF BRA!!! Please refer to above pictures. Right... this team is going to need more than a damn shelf, I'm going to need a drawer to put these floaters into. I want a super adorbs maternity one piece for my growing bump, and that should exist.

NOPE.

Tankinis exist for pregnant people though. Yes, the tankini's from your embarrassing acne filled teenage years, which I guess is kinda similar to pregnancy, so I can see where people are going here. But still. So I went ahead and ordered my first tankini since I was 15, and promptly returned it after my husbands response was, "what is that? it's both too long and too short." Sweetness.

 I've read other blogs like MODG BLOG, where she also ranted about maternity swim wear, and I was like, "no way modg, I'm sure there's piles and piles of awesome maternity suits that I can't wait to get my pregger ass into!" And then I became pregger and realized her rants were fo sho.

So I decided, fine I will get a regular one piece, since I won't be swimming around 8 months preggo in the Chicago winter anyways, I don't need blousy fabric for my bump right now.  I found some cute one pieces, and read some reviews, most of which went like this, "this suit is perfect for my sixty year old body"

aksdjhakdhaskhd!!!!!!

Screw it, I don't care. I ordered the miraclesuit because #1. it makes you look like a slim jim and #2. has support for my 16 week boobs, and that my friends is a winning combo.