BOOBS. And also maternity swimwear rant.

SIXTEEN WEEKS. That's how far along my boobs are.

Kristin, that's so inappropriate.


Well I'm truckin along at 16 weeks, and I guess maybe I'm getting a bump? It fluctuates every day, so who can tell what's really going on, but I bought these stickers to stick on my "bump" so I had to use this one obviously.

 At some point this pose will make more sense... I just wanted to get the practice in.

Since we are on the topic of maternity swimwear...we weren't really, but now we are. I'm going on two vacations this summer that involve swimming, and so I thought, I need a maternity swimwear to hold my obviously large  nonexistent baby bump. I'm searching all over the web, and there's boutiques that literally have 8 "maternity" swim suits, however 4 of those are bikinis. HOW CAN A BIKINI BE MATERNITY!?  The other one pieces of maternity swim wear are low plunging or with a SHELF BRA. SHELF BRA!!! Please refer to above pictures. Right... this team is going to need more than a damn shelf, I'm going to need a drawer to put these floaters into. I want a super adorbs maternity one piece for my growing bump, and that should exist.

NOPE.

Tankinis exist for pregnant people though. Yes, the tankini's from your embarrassing acne filled teenage years, which I guess is kinda similar to pregnancy, so I can see where people are going here. But still. So I went ahead and ordered my first tankini since I was 15, and promptly returned it after my husbands response was, "what is that? it's both too long and too short." Sweetness.

 I've read other blogs like MODG BLOG, where she also ranted about maternity swim wear, and I was like, "no way modg, I'm sure there's piles and piles of awesome maternity suits that I can't wait to get my pregger ass into!" And then I became pregger and realized her rants were fo sho.

So I decided, fine I will get a regular one piece, since I won't be swimming around 8 months preggo in the Chicago winter anyways, I don't need blousy fabric for my bump right now.  I found some cute one pieces, and read some reviews, most of which went like this, "this suit is perfect for my sixty year old body"

aksdjhakdhaskhd!!!!!!

Screw it, I don't care. I ordered the miraclesuit because #1. it makes you look like a slim jim and #2. has support for my 16 week boobs, and that my friends is a winning combo.

Let's talk about spandex

I'm still not preg enough to wear maternity clothes, so I'm still schlepping along in my regular wardrobe, normally in dresses or skirts, however yesterday I wore a pair of trousers, trying to look all professional at work. Within 10 minutes of being at my desk my body was screaming for a pants off, dance off party.... so of course just like any normal preg or obese person, I unzipped my pants all the way and slouched at my desk for 8 hours.

By the end of the day I was so uncomfortable, even putting on my gym clothes made my skin scream. Ugh. So today I said screw real pants, I'm in spandex from here on out! I put on my bad ass leggings and stomped into work. It feels lovely, like angels gently hugging my everything. Spandex is the way to go.

I tried to class it up a little bit instead of throwing on a wife-beater with the leggings, like my fetus asked me to...

ouu yeah look at that fancy belt that I will mostly likely take off once I sit at my desk. I tried.

Grandma screams

So I know I said earlier that the word on the preg was out, but I guess that excluded my non-internet using family, which includes my grandma/grandpa, two aunts, and my uncle. My mom of course knows, so she was in on the surprise.

sometimes you just need a little dance

when you're feeling like a barfy gassy pants and you don't want to go to work and are sitting in the parking lot almost an hour late... sometimes you just need to break out in an awkward dance. duh.


https://vine.co/v/h79EFQw2hIT


and then throughout the day you'll laugh at yourself dancing.

14 weeks and no bump

How far along? 14 weeks!

Maternity clothes: Sitting at work in my hot pink J. Crew minne pant. So, nope, still no maternity clothes. I guess that's a good thing, but when you're preg, you kinda want to show a little, well at least I do. Right now I just look like a liar. However, my mom got excited and bought me a pair of pink skinny (maternity) jeans. Holla! I tried them on, how ridiculous, we should be wearing maternity pants NOW! All that stretchy upper coming up to my boobs, those old ladies know what's real.

Stretch marks: shush.

Sleep: Still peeing and tossing and turning.

Best moment this week: Getting the word out there and being congratulated by everyone. Everyone's excitement is so contagious!

Miss anything? Eating real food... still.

Movement: Nope

Food cravings: fruit and mac 'n cheese

Anything making you queasy or sick? Still the "P" word... rhymes with dork. ugh, yuck. I thought I was in the clear with eating, so went out for a fancy dinner and barely made it home I got so sick.

Gender:  won't know for at least a month. So excited!!

Labor signs: too early fools

Symptoms: barf nausea diarrhea central. Getting better. But yeah.

Belly button in or out? sick.

Wedding rings on or off? Depends on if I'm lookin for a boyfriend or not. 

Happy or moody most of the time: All of them. Every mood there is, I have it.

Looking forward to: Still waiting to show so I don't feel sloppy pouchy anymore

 

 

The word is out!

So we sent an announcement video to friends, and also announce the news to a group of close friends at S's 30th birthday back in June, I was only about 10+ weeks at that moment. Either way, the news was very contained to trusted family and friends. I announced with a surprise cake for the husband... I wish we had a video to capture people's reactions, the girls had it right away, the guys were busy singing "happy birthday" and were very slow to respond, haha.

This past weekend was the 4th of July and I always go back to the suburb I grew up in to see the parade and fireworks, but also many people I grew up with. I knew the topic of babies would come up, and there were also some people who knew and some who didn't at this point. I decided since I was basically at the end of my first trimester to go ahead and make it known on FB... this is terrifying and makes everything a little more real and permanent, because god forbid anything happen, I would have to delete my FB account! There's no going back from there. So I took a picture of our dog Madden with a sign around his neck and posted it on FB and watched the comments roll in.

It was fun going back to my childhood neighborhood for the 4th and being congratulated by everyone. It was also awesome when people said I didn't look pregnant!


It's better than people thinking I am 6 months preg and I'm only like 3... that's bad news. One of the exciting things was being at my mom's house where my wedding dress is still hanging, so I thought what better time to play dress up in my wedding dress! To my surprise it still fit, although a little tight where my boobs are, which is shocking these huge things could even think about getting bigger.

See, now I'm a pregnant chick in a wedding dress on the 4th of July.... passerby's were confused, probably not because of the preg, but because I was frolicking in the yard in this on the 4th, super random.