We just came back from our first vacation with Avi, we decided to bust outta this tundra and head to Arizona for some sun. We stayed in a huge resort filled with families, kids, and drinking parents. When we arrived we requested a crib for Avi. I was shocked when the hotel staff brought this "crib" into our room. All white metal bars with the inability to raise the height of the mattress, something straight from the 60s. I took one look at it and knew Avi would not be sleeping in there. The bars were further spaced than the standard crib in today's world, so I knew there was a risk of Avi getting her leg or arm in between the bars, not only that but I would have to bend way down in attempt to safely pick her up and put her down. No thanks.
When we checked into the hotel it was already around 11pm, and by the time we got the metal contraption it was close to midnight, so there was no waiting or asking for other arrangements. The room we got had two beds, so I decided I would sleep in one bed with Avi and S in the other bed.
Avi is 10 weeks now and probably around 14 pounds, so not teeny and she has great head control, so I wasn't that worried about sleeping with her, however... there's so much controversy and stories about moms rolling over their kid, ect., that it gets into your head that you're going to roll onto your baby while sleeping. The first night I slept in and out, always waking up to peek and make sure she was still on the bed and alive.
In the morning, I realized that Avi slept so soundly compared to when she's in her bassinet. I also noticed she would move her burrito body so she could snuggle her head against my arm. *swoon* It's like mama crack when your baby moves closer to snuggle with you. I wanted more.
The next 4 nights, we continued to co-sleep while on vacation. It was fantastic. I was in love. Prior to vacation, our routine was putting Avi in a bed-side bassinet (Arms reach co-sleeper bassinet) and then when she would wake up to nurse, I would prop pillows up behind me, turn on bedside lamp and grab her from her bassinet. Not a huge hassle, but it involves a few steps. When co-sleeping, Avi would rustle to let me know it was time to eat, and all I would do was pull a boob out and she would find it and latch on. I barely had to move, let alone turn a light on. She would then pull off and I could tell by her breathing she had fallen back to sleep. We slept soundly and peacefully, however being a mama, I was still aware of her presence and her needs.
Here's my issue with the stigma with co-sleeping. Starting from the beginning of time, mamas would sleep nuzzled with their babes, just giving them a boob sleepily in the night to nurse baby back to sleep. This was the pattern of moms. Somewhere in time, babies began to die in their sleep from a variety of reasons, so now we say "back to sleep" and no co-sleeping in bed. But what happened to taking each person or each family as an individual and looking at their needs? If you talk to a handful of moms, someone will say they know someone who rolled on their baby, and another mom will know a baby that died in a bassinet away from moms side, or in a car seat, or while breastfeeding in bed, so on so forth...
I think saying absolutely no co-sleeping is not the answer. There are aspects to look at. I wouldn't co-sleep after drinking, or if I was absolutely exhausted, or with another person in bed. I wouldn't sleep with Avi if she was much smaller or a newborn with limited movement and head control. Those are my limitations on where I am comfortable. I am also a still sleeper. I usually sleep on my back or maybe to a side. I don't twist and turn or move around a lot, so I still don't know how it would be possible to soberly ignore mama instincts and roll on your child, I don't do a lot of rolling anyways.
In these early months, I feel there are benefits for some moms to co-sleep. Some moms and babies will sleep better, it allows bonding between mom and baby, especially for moms who work full-time. Babies grow so fast, there's something so wonderful and amazing about sharing their sleeping space.
There are also downsides to co-sleeping in that, when do you stop? How do you transition to a crib, bassinet or their own room? Will it make things harder to transition? What about intimacy with your partner?
There are so many things to consider, however every family is different, and every mom's comfort level is different. I think that education and open dialogue about safe co-sleeping should exist, because let's be honest, it's going to happen one way or another, so people should know the safest way to go about it. It's like sex education. We can't just tell teenagers not to have sex, let's be real. They're going to do it, let's have them do it safely.
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