So I try to avoid posts that are confrontational or argumentative because, well that's not really what I want this blog to be about, however there's one big topic that I just need to get off my chest, and that is people's opinions in regards to pregnancy and parenting.
Before I got pregnant, I wouldn't have even batten an eyelash at this topic, because it didn't affect me, nor did I even realize what an issue it is. At 18 weeks preg, it amazes me how people feel they now have the right to outwardly judge you or give their opinion- I can only imagine this trend gets worse, especially as a parent. When did it become okay to give your unsolicited advice in regards to pregnancy or parenting, and not only advice, but to be judgmental?
Here's the brief story that started all this.
I still barely have an appetite and struggle to put meals together, so the other night for dinner I had a bowl of carrots, green beans from the farmers market and two small slices of salt cured organic salmon. I posted a picture on facebook with the caption "Dinner last night. Pregnancy you so stupid."
Again, I'm new to this pregnancy thing, so I didn't realize people are lurking in the dark waiting to tell me how I'm doing something wrong to my unborn baby. Comments poured in from one particular person, who just had their first baby, so is obviously an expert in the field. The comments started out by saying I'm not ALLOWED to eat raw fish.... Hold the phone. #1. The picture is not of raw fish, and #2. Don't tell me what I'm ALLOWED to do. This eating of raw fish during pregnancy is a blown up misconception of conservatives opinion. Really you should avoid large amounts of raw fish, or raw fish from the food court in the mall. I won't go into more detail, but I use my own judgement. Go do your own research.
I could go on and on about the conversation turned argument that lasted for about a day on my facebook wall, however if I say too much, I will reveal my feelings and opinions about food "allowances" in pregnancy, and one of the dark lurkey people will come out on this posting. My point is that, I'm not over here preg and binge drinking, smoking crack, or driving without a seat belt. My unborn child is not being harmed, so who are you dark lurkers to feel you can give you 2cents on the topic? Can I also throw in that I'm a nurse practitioner with experience on this topic and in the field?
At a wedding a week ago, I had a small glass of wine for the wedding toasts. Someone who knew I was pregnant, again offered their advice to me saying all children born to mothers that have had any alcohol turn out severely delayed and it is safer if I do meth. Seriously? You heard what you just said right? You believe that!?
Meth. Here I am being all preg and doing meth, but that's cool as long as it isn't a small glass of wine.
BARF.WIZARD.
I'm a medical professional with advanced degrees, and throughout my training I have been taught to always question the way we do things so that we're not moving through medicine doing something "just because we always have done it that way" no, I question everything, I look at the research and evidence. I choose what's right for me and my body, I encourage you to also do your own research and not just do something because someone tells you to. What if your OBGYN or Midwife told you to jump off a bridge because the fetus would like it? You'd just do it? Right. So why aren't more women empowering themselves to do their own research and take part of their pregnancy and body? I am verbal with my patients in regards to their health, and show them the evidence but also encourage them to do research on their own, leading them to good reputable sources, not just any old ham on a website shouting their opinions- like me ;)
I only imagine that this gets worse. Soon, someone will tell me I'm not breastfeeding enough, I'm breastfeeding too much or too long. I gained too much weight, not enough weight. I let my kid eat garbage, I'm too strict with what I let my kid eat. Whatever it is, shut your mouth unless I asked you, or unless myself or my child is in real danger, like I left my kid in the back of a hot car. Fine, then you feel free to come running over.
Here's a horrifying article about people offering their unsolicited opinions and going so far as to verbally and physically assault a two year old for being a boy and wearing a head band. He's TWO!
a boy who wears a headband
Hopefully this will be my only rant about this topic and I can go back to talking about boobs and spandex. Stay away you dark lurkers!
