Our condo is two stories, with the master bedroom upstairs and the nursery and guest room downstairs. Ever since I brought the baby home, I have made the downstairs guest room our room for now just because it's easier to grab stuff from the nursery without having to go downstairs. I am also using a cosleeper bassinet in the bedroom, just because this babe is too teeny for me to imagine her sleeping alone in her crib just yet.... maybe when she's 14....or 15 years old.
As most of you know, the husband travels every week Monday and comes home sometime Thursday afternoon or evening. Our condo is next to another three story large condo building that has a walkway in between our two buildings. This winter the husband and I have noticed their drain pipe building up with ice. I'm talking three stories tall and thicker than a human scull, not so much an icicle, more like an ice monster. Since we have a duplex down condo, the downstairs bedroom windows are on ground level. S mentioned he was worried about this huge piece of ice crashing into the guest bedroom window, in which I thought he was crazy, of course it would melt downward and not touch our condo!
Thursday morning rolls around. It was about 4am when I noticed it was raining out. In my groggy sleep mind I thought that maybe I should move rooms just in case S was right about the ice. Nah, that's crazy.
7:15am the babe starts to rustle about but I was still too tired and not in the mood to nurse her just yet. I grabbed her in her swaddle blanket and placed her next to me in bed to see if she would go back to sleep...this particular day, I could not be more thankful she was insistent on nursing. I grabbed the "brestfriend" a nursing pillow that straps around your body, and sat up in bed, placing her on the pillow in front of my body. It's important to know that our bed is against the wall with the window. Moments later I heard a noise that I can only describe as screeching metal like a train that got closer and closer. At that moment I knew what was about to happen.
It took mere seconds for all the ice to peel away three stories of the condo building and crash through the window above where we were in bed. Instinctively, I braced myself and covered the baby. I don't remember thinking to do it, it just happened. It all happened so fast.
The glass shattered all over us. A life altering noise that I'll never forget. I heard blood curdling screams for help, and then realized that was coming from me. I screamed for someone to help us over and over. I didn't know I was capable of screaming like that. I looked down and saw the baby in my arms with blood in/around her right eye. She wasn't crying or moving. She was still and just looking up at me. It was the most horrific sight. I quickly pulled it together, crawling out of the bed covered in glass, walking across the glass covered floor to find my phone which was knocked across the room. I released the nursing pillow, letting out shards of glass that had collected in the back of pillow.
Finally I heard my neighbors voice come through the window. I had her call 9-1-1. The baby still wasn't crying at this point, but it was only seconds or maybe a few minutes from the time all the glass had fallen to me springing out of the bed. I peeled her bloodied swaddle blanket from her looking for other injuries and she finally began to scream. I thought the glass was in her eye and I just kept telling myself that it would be alright if she lost her eyesight, at least she was alive. I had to tell myself that.
The paramedics came, pulled glass shards out of my back and shoulders and we were off to the hospital. I went to the decontamination shower in the ED to remove all the small glass pieces out of my body, but all I could think about was my baby. Was she going to loose her eye? Would she be okay? Would they find other injuries?
I count my lucky stars and know someone had to be looking out for us that day. This was beyond just luck. Once they rinsed her face and did an eye exam, they told me the cut was just below her eye, starting from just below the tear duct to her nose, somehow missing her eye completely. That was it. As for me, little pieces of glass that will eventually make their way out.
Looking back at the room and playing it over and over in my head I don't know how we walked away with the minor injuries we did. I don't know how it wasn't worse. I don't know how we, or at least I am alive. Even the pieces of ice that crashed through the window somehow missed my head and spine. I am so thankful I was nursing the baby, a natural shield from (almost) all the pieces of glass.
I knew that when you have a baby, you love your child like you've never loved anyone else. And after delivery, naturally I loved her. I even loved her once I knew I was pregnant. Thursday changed everything. This made me realize I'd lay down and die a thousand times to save my child. To prevent her from feeling pain. To prevent her from bleeding. Motherhood will make you do crazy things. I didn't even noticed when I walked barefoot across glass. I'd walk across fire to save her.
I'm not sure I fully understood what mother's were capable of until Thursday. I now understand why even at 30 years old, when I wake my mom up at night, she springs out of bed like a crazy lady. I get it now. You are always somewhat sleeping with one eye open, always in protective mode.
Always the mama bear.
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| The bed where we were laying. This is after the ice melted. |
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