babyled weaning is the pits

So I wrote a post earlier about baby food and babyled weaning, yada yada yada, I thought I was cool shit with my BLW futuristic yet prehistoric ways, but then I decided that BLW is the pits and really for the privileged few. Here's why:

Once the sun starts setting, babies similar to gremlins start turning into a less cute monster version of themselves. If you're anything like me, evenings are a stressful, chaotic mess to try and get things done before bedtime, and those things are really just dinner.

Avi starts full meltdown around 7:30, so I have to find time somewhere before then to stuff my face and sometimes hers. Recently I decided that the "meal" I would start adding routinely would be dinner so that we could both enjoy dinner together. In all honesty, my goal is for me to eat some food with both hands free and baby not gremlinizing me.

I get my dinner all set and ready around 6, put Avi in her high chair with some sort of food nuggets for her to chomp happily on while I eat and throw back some shots. Just kidding. Kinda.

In reality, here's what takes place.

I'm so paranoid about her choking that I'm constantly staring at her while trying to get my own food into my mouth. The dog is breathing his hot breath at me begging for anyone's scraps. Food is flung onto the floor and into hair, basically anywhere but mouth which as you can imagine is frustrating which equals baby whining. This is like watching your drunk friend eat late night food. It's just awful. I have to give more food globs to gremlin baby and shovel more food quickly into my mouth with a swig of something alcoholic.The clock is ticking. In about 5 minutes I've consumed my entire meal of who the hell knows what and some beverage. Relaxing right?

Dinner time is over, but then I look at my child who is a food-filled sticky gooey mess. I dry heave slightly just from looking at her. How the hell do I clean this? Nothing will wipe all this down. The second I wipe one hand and move to the other, the clean hand is grabbing some goo again and the process continues for eternity I suppose. So apparently it's bath time.

I have to gather all the bath gear (we do bath's in the kitchen sink), so then I have to clean anything that's in the sink and prepare for a baby butt to be there. Off go the crunchy clothes and in goes baby. Luckily Avi loves bath time and all things filled with water.

The real exciting part is that once I get Avi to sleep and have time to myself, I get to clean the rest of the goo mess in the kitchen. Wipe down the highchair and all the nooks and crannies, finding old dried goo in there. Gag me. If the dog has wandered off and there's a mess on the floor, now I'm on my hands and knees like Cinderella wiping up food excrement and dust bunnies. Oh, that's right, the clothes have food drool on them, which will stain unless I start the soaking process now. Better go back downstairs to do that.

Finally everything is cleaned and I'm exhausted and think, "did I have dinner?" Oh yeah, I can barely remember because I swallowed it whole. I should just start having smoothies for dinner.

This is why it's nonsense to do BLW unless you have a cleaning crew like damn Martha Stewart. All I want is some organic, non-processed, real food that comes mushed up and ready for baby to eat so I can fill my pie hole with processed greasy dinner and we can all go to bed happy. Seriously. The alternative is to exclusively breastfeed Avi until she is probably around 6 or whatever age these gremlins can get food into their mouths without a mess.

The idea is cool, but lets face it, I'm way too lazy and just not trendy enough to do BLW full-time.