the aunt came to town in time for Avi's first birthday

Yeah, I'm going to talk about it.


First period post-partum. It's worth talking about. Not because it's awesome and cool and so exciting to get after almost TWO years without it, but because like everything else post-partum, it's different and hilarious and gross.

I feel ya.

I am one of the cool people that feel ovulation. Yeah, that's right. I can feel when that stupid ripe egg bursts out of it's shell and down my pipes, or whatever actually happens. (shockingly, I have taken advanced Anatomy and Physiology. Meh. Oh well). So I knew last week when I had the dabilitating pain that Avielle was going to give me the gift of my period for her first birthday. Yay!

First of all, the first period post-partum can either be cramptactular or cramp-less. I have been blessed with cramp-less, however I think it's because my uterus is all "hell nah, we are tired, fat, lazy and loose from labor, we're good."

The downside is that, prior to baby, chicks get their periods and sit on the couch and stuff their faces with bon-bons and watch re-runs of the Bachelor. What's that? Oh, you eat salads and still hit the gym when your aunt visits town? We can't be friends.

Now, I have to pull it together to keep this little human alive, and miss Avielle gives no craps about her mama feeling like death. Ugh. That little human is also a walking-teething mess, which means she has to come everywhere with  mom, including the bathroom.

Did you ever think you'd be holding little hands out of the toilet while putting a tampon in? No, no you did not. That is the disgusting difference with your new mom life. Blech. How do you keep that little human happy for a second to get your shit together? Hand her a tampon of her own and boom, becomes a teething toy. Disgusting, but buys me like 1.35 minutes of quiet.

Also, your preiod makes your breastmilk supply tank. My pump is just laughing at me now. Apparently it also makes your milk taste like yuck and your precious bundle of joy will push your boob away and act like you are feeding them day old garbage.

Nothing says HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY like mama returning to fertility.

EXACTLY.

Coming to an end

It's been awhile since I've written. The holidays. Life. It all got busy and hectic. I've also been reflecting on the past year. Many things have evolved and changed over the year. A large part of my life the last year is coming to a close. Pumping. It should sound like angels singing, but actually the idea and act of weaning from the pump is rather emotional. I did not anticipate this.

I have dedicated a majority of my time since Avielle has been born, developing a nursing  and pumping relationship. When I went back to work last April, I learned how to manage my time and include pumping sessions. I learned how much milk my baby needed while I was away. I learned what bottles or nipples worked best. I learned that hand washing is much better than the dishwasher for all those tiny parts. I learned that a hand pump is great for long car trips. I learned how to travel in an airport with breast milk. I learned a lot. When I went back to work, I made the decision to continue to offer breast milk to Avi, and that meant pumping at work. Since April, I have been pumping every two hours while at work.

EVERY TWO HOURS. 

I would miss meetings. I would take my lunch break while pumping. I would pump in the car to and from work. I even pumped during breaks at job interviews. When I started a new job I had to fight for my right to pump in a locked office. I ate oatmeal, drank mother's milk tea, carried a water bottle around for hydration, did anything I could to maintain my supply to keep up with a growing child. 

I always had a freezer stash from my small random pumping sessions shortly after Avi was born. I was lucky to never need to use that frozen stash. Until now.

Avi is 19 days away from being one. I will make it to my goal of breastfeeding/pumping for  at least a year, however I am still saddened by the fact that I have noticed a drop in my supply. I pump about a third of what I used to. I don't even pump my left breast anymore, that gave up on me months ago. Oatmeal and tea don't change a thing. The past week I have relied on some of my frozen stash. I suppose that is why we create a frozen stash, but there is a feeling of inadequacy looming above me yet. 

There's a feeling of sadness, of doubt and secretly, of failure. I can't explain it. To most, it would sound ridiculous. I've made it a year! I worked so hard to balance and perfect this relationship, to keep it going, to keep it a float. I should be proud. Yet, there's a piece of me that wishes I got to make the decision of when I was done. I feel that my body is making the decision for me. I feel in a way, by body is not keeping up. Failing me. 

This end also means how grown up my baby is. Soon, she will wean herself from the breast as well, possibly before I'm ready. Right now I am still her world. Her comfort, her nourishment, her everything. Soon, she will choose other ways to comfort. She will be able to soothe without her mama. And that's okay. Yet, it still stings a little. 

I helped with those rolls

One year. In the beginning I wasn't sure I would make it. Seems like a lifetime. Now, it feels like it went too quickly. Like I didn't get to soak it up enough. Relish in the moments. My mind isn't ready to be done, but my body is. 

Even as I type these words, they choke me. I look at Avielle sleeping soundly and know that I have done my very best to provide for her this last year. I know deep down it was quite an accomplishment. Tomorrow I will leave for work and she will not nurse. She will be too busy playing to notice me slip away. She will be too busy to notice she didn't nurse before mama left, and that's okay. It will be okay.

Soon, I will be able to look back at the year with awe. I will get to that point. I am just not there yet.

19 more days to reach my goal.

NoseFrida makes having sick babies suck... Literally

So if you don't know NoseFrida you haven't gotten on the trendy mom train apparently. Choo choo! All aboard the booger bus!

NoseFrida has replaced those blue nose bulb-suctions used for snot removal from your kid. The thing is, NoseFrida removes those goopy booger friends from their tiny nose holes by suction, suction you get by using your mouth.

I'll let that sink in for a second.

Yeah you suck out those globs of boogers. WITH YOUR MOUTH. Reading that makes your mouth water a little and not in a good way.

A friend told me about this contraption, and although I'm a nurse, I do not do phlegm. It's the thing that makes my gag reflex dance. Like dry heave, eyes water, while over a patients bed, type of dance. So when she told me about this I was skeptical and grossed out. 

Walking into BuyBuyBaby where towers of everything you need in your life loom over you, there was NoseFrida calling my name. Since I have no shopping self control and want to be on the trendy mom train, I scooped up a shiny new NoseFrida.

I have to admit this was months and months ago. Avi got a few runny noses since then but I was overwhelmed at the idea of mouth pipetting her boogers out, so I used the old school bulb-suction instead. That all changed tonight.

Sad Sally's snot nose was too much for that bulb suction and was interfering with the sleep Gods, so in a panic I decided to try out this mouth suctioning equipment. I grabbed my husband to be on barf duty just in case I lost my shit from eating my child's boogers and barfed all over the nursery. Not sure what he would do but he was required to participate in this event. 

There's a plastic piece that goes in the nose hole and is connected to a skinny tube with small a mouth piece and you literally suck out your kids sickness. Okay so there is a filter so it can't get into your mouth. But still. Dry heave central.

The sucking of snot makes a fun gurgling sound. To my surprise I did not gag or dry heave. The opposite. I actually enjoyed this. Something very satisfying about sucking the snot out from your kids tiny mucous filled petri dish body leaving them to breath clear and easy. Kinda addicting. That's gross, I know, but don't knock it until you try it? Seriously it's amaze. I'm a NoseFrida convert. 

The company also makes other gadgets, including one to help get the farts out. I am not kidding.

So if you're skeptical, this booger dry heave queen suggests you give the NoseFrida a try. 

Get those boogies. 

*I was not paid for this review*

It's fall....errrr maybe winter? And that means a newpumping/nursingoutfit!

I just realized that since I'm rounding the corner to one year of nursing and about 7 months of pumping, that most of my time nursing or pumping has been through the summer months and all of my nursing tops or dresses are for those warmer months. In Chicago we have about 13 days of fall before we are forced into the coldest 9 months, and that means I need a new outfit for work and overall lounging.

Guys, I have found the best dress for my fall/winter needs!

The BOOB Simone nursing dress from one of my top maternity and nursing stores Figure8Maternity, can also be worn during pregnancy, so it's an overall win.  The things I love about this dress are that it allows for discreet nursing and also easy pumping. I have other tops or dresses with the side slits that allow for easy discreet nursing but not really good for pumping, too putzy. I was able to wear this dress to work paired with boots, but it's also super comfy to pair with leggings or tights for a lazy Sunday.

nursing in my Tula while being lost in a corn maze. Parenting win.

The price is a little on the higher end, but since you can wear it pretty much for the rest of your adult life, it's totes worth it. The size is pretty true and forgiving, not too tight or spandex-y, it's slightly long, hitting to almost my knee on my 5'8" frame, but would be super easy to hem for those shorties out there. It's nice to have something to mix up the wardrobe instead of the usual nursing top paired with a cardigan that I've been wearing the last 7 months since I've gone back to work... just saying.

who doesn't need a green ring and dinosaur feet to nurse?

Get the dress.

 

*I was not paid for my views or opinions of this dress*